You know there is this certain assignment due after the midterms and you haven't really put much effort or rather not even started it at all due to the fact that most of your time was spent on studying while putting aside this said assignment on the pretext that "there is always more time later". Well, sometimes when you get unlucky, things just pile up so bad the forecast of the week seems to be thunderstorms as you struggle to finish not one, not two, but three assignments given weeks in advance. It's times like this where having good team members count.

Based on my experience last semester, i find that this problem is just another phase us procrastinating students go through. Especially in group assignments, we tend to lose track and ultimately its the person who desperately wants the points who pulls the extra weight for the assignment. My psychology research paper is an example. Me and my friend Raymond did most of the work while we sent some books to the other members to read so that they wont be blur on presentation. He typed 3/4 of the paper while another member is supposed to type the rest and another was supposed to edit the format and check for grammar mistakes. In the end i discovered to my shock and horror the editing was terrible and the 1/4 of writing was missing. I spent the whole night correcting the mistakes, retyping the reference list cracking my head for the last 1/4 of material, and preparing the slides for the presentation the next day(my original task).

Thanks to the research Raymond put in and my stubbornness for perfect formatting and power point slides, we got the highest marks for the whole assignment even though i felt like a walking corpse that morning.

After reading Chapter 9 of the text book on members and leaders in group communication, i realized we did not approach the assignment properly. We should have been more group oriented. We had a group of four, if not for the fact that Raymond took ADP for psych before this we could have failed the assignment because we didn't utilize all the resources we had or rather we underused them. Individuality with a group orientation is effective but without it, we are just like having many captains on a ship. As the saying goes, too many cooks spoil the soup.

So to avoid this, team members for human comm, meeting after class on monday.. we have things to setttle..

i saw my friend facebook status before,
"you always say i just don't listen, yes! i can very confirm to tell you that boy are never listen, however you also never shut your mouth."
many friend comment on his post show they are agree with it. ya, i'm one of them. xD
not only us, i guess everyone also will agree with that, boy don't listen and girl like to talk. so what is the chemical reaction when two gender meet each other? nothing than that, just like an asteroid smash on earth. haha!

in this blog post, i will focus more on why boys never listen to other. why i focus on it? because, i'm male and i can say that i know what a boy thinking when a girl talk a lot beside his ears, i tried before. =.=

first, lets us start with the relationship between parents and son. teenagers normally would'nt listen much of their parents because a teenager want their own life. they don't want other people to disturb their life and decision. teenagers will reject their parents, however there are some difference between a son and a daughter. daughther may try to change their parents mind by giving a lot of idea and opinions. sons different, why? because they don't like to have conflict with parents, but on the same time, they would not agree with what parents saying. so, what they trying to do is just don't listen and avoid the problem and question given.

second, common things, couple. when conflict happen, boys less argue with the girls to win the conflict, they just keep quiet and let the girls keep talking. however on the same time they also not agree with what the girls talking, but they try to avoid from conflict so they keep quiet and not listening. because of this, a new conflict will come out again, and conflict would'nt stop and keep going. conflict only will stop when boys clam their girlfriends and did a lot to let her be happy, but never say anything to what their girlfriends complained. they not show that they are agree with the claim or dislike the claim. boys just avoid from conflict.

third, relationship between workers. when they facing a problem during work, girls and boys act differentlty. girls may take this problem to the surface to have different ideas with everyone. boys may keep quiet to find a solution to solve the problem. when this situation happening, boys will be very stress and hate everything that is disturbing him, in this time, if girls come and talk about the problem with him, boys would'nt listen because they are already in a stress condition, they just hope to be quiet and get a solution themselves. because of they are not listening to the partner, they will be claim as irresponsible and a lot of bad comment come into him.

from three common relationship above, did you all found the same thing about boy? boy always avoid from conflict, so they keep quiet and not listening. but actually in their mind they are thinking solution for the problems and how to solve the conflict. i, as a boy, also hope that every girl can understand that our way of think is different, we keep quiet does'nt mean that we not care about anything, but we just don't like to show it on our face.

Today is the last day of February. It is the last day of rest before normal classes in college starts again. It is also the last day of the Chinese new year festival which also means its "valentines day" for the Chinese. But most importantly, today is the last day to do my blog posting so here i go again.

Seeing as this is the last day of Chinese new year,let me just share with you guys some drama that happened a week ago during a dinner at my grandma's house.

On the sixth day of the new year (today is the fifteenth), My whole extended family met at my grandma's house to celebrate her birthday. To lessen the burden of my grandparents, it was decided between my mother and her siblings that the adults will cook instead of the grandparents. Ideas popped up here and there and in the end it was decided that we should have steamboat for dinner! there was only one problem - Steamboat is nothing without seafood, and my grandparents (plus my youngest uncle)are vegetarians. A quick solution of having two separate steamboats was suggested and everyone was happy. Or so it seemed.

At about dinner time, although not all the guests have arrived yet, the some of the children were starting to feel hungry. So some of the adults decided to start the normal steamboat to let the children eat. When this happened, all those present who were omnivores went out to the porch to eat. This made youngest uncle very unhappy.

To cut the long story short, at the end of that day, I helped to clean up, my cousins helped to clean up, my other relatives helped to clean up, but youngest uncle sulked at a corner eating cake with "annoyed" written all over his face. Sometime after i left, according to my aunts, he stood up, half eaten cake in hand and scolded his remaining sibling about how wrong and disrespectful they were for leaving the elderly (ironically he is included) to eat alone at the dinning table and to contaminate the utensils and cutlery with meat. When he went home, he composed a very fiery email to everyone telling how wrong everything was and firing accusations everywhere.

Now, while this conflict has brought into light that we might have overlooked certain important elements regarding how to treat the elderly since this conflict was sparked based on a clashing of cultures ie beliefs and religion,the way the emails were presented was very accusing. he had placed all the responsibility of what he saw was wrong on us. till this day, many have been proved unreasonable and at first he refused to apologize saying that he was disappointed that we wont change our perception so he wont change his either. He attributed stubbornness and ignorance as a reason for the 'mistakes' he saw.

We have learned that competing style of conflict causes resentment. i can say it is very true especially when used with verbal aggressiveness. Blaming is never a good choice. i can understand where he is coming from but its very very one sided. from his outburst, it can also be said that he has been gunnysacking many 'mistakes' over the past few year. The adults have called a family meeting to address the issues he has pointed out but he has refused to attend claiming that there is no need to discuss anything and just do what he said. I really hope this issue is resolved as i cant have much say in this. this is between the adults. how embarrassing..

what's about self-disclosure ?

self-disclosure is the process of revealing something about ourselves to another person. Usually refers to infomation that would normally be kept hidden. We eventually will reveal our personal information to others when it happens to self-disclosure.

The rewards and dangers of self-disclosure are :

-self-knowledge
a new perspective and deeper understanding of our own behaviour. Telling people about behaviour is the minor conversation but not deeper than that.

-improved coping abilities
you deal with problems especially comes to guilt.

-communication enhancement
you understand the messages until the extent that you understand the individuals.

-more meaningful relationships
relationship that is honest and open and allows for more complete communication.

-personal risks
expose to possible attack . some people with some intentions use against you.

-relationship risks
parents and best freinds which means your closest intimates may reject you for similar self-disclosures.

-professional risks
politicians who disclose that they have been in therapy may lose the support and teacher who disclose disagreement with school administrators may find themselves being denied tenure.

*Joseph A.Devito*

humans do disclose themselves because humans have a lot to express by telling others. Is very suffering to just kept it to only our own. having listener listen what we wanted to tell and say it will eventually ease our problems for awhile better than nothing .

self-fulfilling prophecy happens in our daily life because i realised that what i do it's related to it.
examples of self-fulfilling prophecy are :

Example One :

students are telling themselves that they can't even pass their papers because they dont have enough time to study for example for the midterm examination . they are just using self-fulfilling prophecy in a negative term .
they should say it in a more confident method which is the positive one . they should say they can pass the papers no matter how .

Example Two :

some girls thinks that they are very pretty and attractive and yes they using self-fulfilling prophecy in a positive way from their point of view. if they were not using it they will most probably thinks that they are very ugly and very dumb .

self-fulfilling prophecy is good when it is a good or positive way but not all people using it because they dont want to think positively in some conditions or circumstances .

JANETTE

Coming from two different cultures and backgrounds, I had to learn two different cultures. But I must admit, the only one common thing I can relate to about both my cultures is DANCE! I was twelve when I did my first Bhangra performance (Punjabi) and twenty when I first performed Kathak (Ceylonese) 
So now to begin with my story: on Sunday after kathak class, on the way home, I realized something. Dance is related with human communication!! Hence, the dancing thing we did the other day in tutorial  So anyway, if you have seen Indian dance performances, you will know that d performers are actually telling the audience a story in a different language. Everything is about non verbal communication @ body language. The most important form of body language we use is obviously ‘FACIAL EXPRESSION’, and also having to maintain eye contact with the audience. Hence, the think eye make-up we dancers normally have on. It’s exactly like he silent movie we did. We wouldn’t have understood all those movies we made if not for the good body language we used. I must admit, when we first learnt chapter 5, I didn’t see the importance of non verbal communication, but now I do!

About two weeks ago, my church invited the nearby toastmasters to hold a crash course on improving public speaking. The workshop took up two days and covered the basics of speech giving and public speaking.

The first day began with each of us being paired up with a partner. It was recommended that we paired up with someone we didn't know that well. We were then supposed to introduce our partner to the rest of the people. Including their names, age, hobby, and their deepest darkest secret.

Although many people said that they were bad at public speaking, the toastmasters told us later that we were speaking, and we spoke to an audience. Many of us realised then that it wasn't that hard after all.

And so the session went on and the toastmasters thought us many tips on how to prepare our speeches. From knowing the topic we are speaking and the type of audience we are speaking to, to the format of our speeches such as the Cause-Effect pattern and the Problem-Solution pattern. We were even shown video clips of toastmaster’s speeches at competition level and given examples of how our nonverbal communication should be like, such as expressions, tone, and gestures.

In addition to those we were also given a practise where we had to speak on a random topic on stage while avoiding pause fillers such as "erm", repeated words, dragging of words etc. The course ended with each of us splitting into groups of five and we had to come up with a product to sell to the audience. We had to deliver a persuasive speech as a group as a final practise.

Strange as it may seem, I did badly on stage. I completely had no confidence in the 'product' which was a jeans converted into a diary cover. But I really appreciated the comments and suggestions that the toastmasters gave me. They told me I needed to be more confident and not lose control of the stage and to just relax. To my greatest surprise, Mr Murali gave us the exact same topic to do as our presentation, except this time i had the toastmasters' experience on my side.

basically , i'm a person who full with curiousity in my mind.
because i need a reasons for a person to tell me specific things and do something.
curiousity will gain when you can't get the reasons that you dying to know.
why people feeling curious about something???
why dont people just leave it alone and stop thinking because it will make you even more curious about it.

curiousity occurs when you ask somebody about anything , people replied with a person's perspective or point of view and you tend to dont understand what is the reasons that make this person say so..
curiousity can make people eager to know something.

situation A

A says : you know what . C says that girl sitting at the corridor there infront of the PC is a filthy rich girl .
B says : how you know about that girl ?
C says : i just know but i'm not sure because i have never been stalking her to back home so i dont have an evidence for this statement. *smile*
A says : as you can see she always dressed up well and she look like one too (means she look like a filthy rich also)
B says : when you dont have any evidence that shows she is better keep quiet gossiping.
C says : okay i will just stop talking about her .
A says : okay me too (she's very eager to know more about that girl because she's curious whether is she rich or not ).

okay A,B and C doesnt even know that girl but they already assumed that she's filthy rich and all sorts of things if one of them knew that girl all of the gossiping conversation will not happened. lack of communication and being friendly to people ;conflict might happen and simply assuming or guessing people's identity is not an ethical way to do so.communicate with that girl to kknow whether is she rich or not ! stop guessing and stop letting your curiousity to grow.

curiousity always in me. i always eager to know an answer from anyone.

janette

we were assigned to create a product and sell to students.
we'll be freedom to apply our creativity to invent a product.
students are allowed to choose existance of a product but its better to modify it or fully created by your own.

Life Enhancer
i created an elevator that can carry cars to the carpark and this is mainly for the shopping mall carpark purposes. i believe classmates doesnt like my invention but i like . at first they are amazed about this machine system , its because they are a lot of things to be considered so explanation from me is a little not satisfying. nevermind i'll do better next time. okay , this machine i invented is basically moving forward to a high technology system to upgrade consumers standard. this is how the system works , there are buttons and screen beside the machine and there are screen to display plate numbers , alphabet pad , thumbprint and intercom (in case people need help with the machine). first the car will stop infornt of the machine and after customers got their ticket and they have to insert their car plate number and place their thumb on the thumbprint scanner and the car will have to park in the machine so that the car will be moved to the elevator.
then the car will move with the conveyer belt at the bottom of the car to move to the carpark space. Lastly , when you need to collect back your car just place thumb on the thumbprint and the car will be remove back to the entrance of the machine and its done ! 
there is questions people thrown to me which are how much will it cost ? and how you earn profit ?
the cost will be up to billlion i guess because it is very computerized system and i earn profit from the parking fee that the shopping mall charge , it will be higher because of the new invention builded at the mall.

the purpose of this assigment  / presentation is to relate with public speaking preparation and delivery.
which is chapter 11 in the textbook. it guide us to communicate with others by delivering them my ideas and allowed them to ask questions so that the whole presentation each other are communicating.
is all about clarity,vividness,appropriateness,personal style,power,sentence structure and the conclusion. all of these is to guide you to deliver a good public speaking .

janette