in one of the previos lesson, mr. Murali teach us a chapter about relationship. i don't know how should i feel when i stay in the class. this is because something had changed in my relationship status before last semester holiday and it is going under out of my control.

however, i'm nt going to talk about that in this post. what i'm going to talk in this post is what i found today for my relationship.

i know i must post another post as my homework for human communication class. i'm out of idea, so i went to look at my previous blog. a forgetted blog, full of memory between me and my secondary school lover. in one of the post, i found something i wrote before and i had a different feel with it now.
i wrote,

human always learn to grow up,
this is what other people talk to me,
i always disagree with it and never take it in my mind,
always believe in myself that i had grown up.
however, time pass,
feeling changed,
as example, i will laugh at myself when i think back about my primary school life when i in form1,
now in the college rehearse in mind about my secondary school life,
what i did is smile and shake my head,
how i passed these all through my life?
now i understand one thing,
human never have one specific example,
you can't say that in this moment, what decision you did is the most accurate and the best,
because when you reach another stage of life,
what you think will always different,
until the day we die, our stage in life keep changes,
so in conclude what we did at time cannot say as the right and accurate way to do so,
what the most important only now,
only now is what we can control in hand,
you can't change the stupid things that had passed,
you also would'nt know what is going on in the future,
so what we can do in this moment that we can control?
sorry, i'm unable to answer this question,
because i just think about the question,
and i'm not going to think about the answer, the answer always change when we are in different stage of life right?
what you all think about it?

it is not straight related with relationship i think,
it even not so much related with human communication also i think,
i don't know,
i just try to post what i feel,
welcome all to comment about this,
i appreciate it, thanks!

Two weeks ago, mr.murali gave us this really interesting assignment. We had to come up with this silent movie, about anyhting and everything :) It was a little difficult at first because we weren't sure whatsotoryline we were going to come up with and how we were going to work with each other. W ere we going to be able to agree on one storyline?? Who was to do the recording?? However, wverything worked out well. Infact, we learnt a lot about body language. Only then I realised that body language @ non verbal communication plays such an important role in one's life and how its ambigous. To me a particular sign can mean 'you want to eat?', and to another it can mean something really vulgar (Rusell Peters). We don't realise how people tend to pick up non verbal communication better than verbal communication. So its also very important not to contradict your non verbal communication with your verbal communcation.

recently , i'm kind of joined CF which is christian fellowship .
the venue is at the KPD BLOCK E *where the bus stopped when drop off and pick students*
every friday at 12.30 .do come if you interested .
for me i'm a unofficial joined as CF member yet.
i attended twice which are last week and yesterday (friday).
the first day i went in there is like feeling weird already because they were singing and i dont know what song is that so i just sing along if i can. after that, we played some games called the squirrel and the tree .
sounds childish right? but is fun though .
the motive of these game is too let people make new friends with one and another .
as the game is going on we will have to ask for people's names and communicate with each other.
something like being friendly with everyone and know more friends.
being shy is no longer exist because every situation will have to communicate no matter to make friends or pretend to be friendly you still have to speak and talk to people.
other people need to know more about you because the curiousity just can't be avoid.
why not just communicate with people no harm . It doesnt cost you anything and it doesnt hurt you .

be more friendly your life with go more easily.

janette

love for me is not defined as blind.
maybe sometimes i will misinterpret some circumstances that involved love and it's blind for some people.
sometimes people just feel unontrollable towards love and some people say love somebody unconditionally that is call love. love doesnt mean that girl and boy have to fall in love with each other in fact it can be only one party that involved.
isnt it because they fell to deep for it ?
most of the people fall in love with each other probably because they do talk to each alot and they eventually fall for one and another because they always do communicate.
communication in mankind plays a big role because human without communication they can't even talk and speak to each other. human needs to share their thoughts no matter pathetic issues or happy moments.
nothing without communication works.
no one live without love. in fact you are living with it every single day.
the feeling being loved is really good and you will feel you are the happiest human in the world.
feeling contented too because love is better than anything else.
love can be from family, boyfriend or girlfriend ,pets and friends.
every categories will have different feelings because the relationship status are different.
for family , they really love you the most and love you unconditionally.
for couples , he/she loves you because they cares about you and they will very comfy being with you.
for pets , they love you because you always play with them and they know who treat them good or bad. of course they know how to differenciate because they do think.
lastly for friends , friends for certain people, they spend more time with friends more than family because hanging out with friends do feel awesome. In college people do have friends and friends mostly shared thoughts with one and another. Friends forever will know your secrets than the family do since you doest want to reveal to your family members. Literally, communication occurs more with friends because having and spending longer hours with them. Remember that , friends always by your side if you found the right one.

love is not always blind.

janette

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication#Repeating
lets see the definition of nonverbal communication through wikipedia.
frm information, there are 7types of movement and body position show the nonverbal communication.
there are Kinesics,Posture,Gesture,Haptics,Eye gaze,Touch and Voice.
i always believe that there are something more than these to form our non-verbal message. people can look through our little body movement and know what are we thinking about. i don't think that is miracle because sometime non-verbal message perform more than our verbal message.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship
information frm wikipedia again..
relationships, we can see there are some types of relationship given in the box..

Boyfriend · Bromance · Casual · Cicisbeo · Cohabitation · Concubinage · Courtesan · Domestic partnership · Family · Friendship · Girlfriend · Husband · Kinship · Marriage · Mistress (lover) · Monogamy · Non-monogamy · Pederasty · Polyamory · Polyfidelity · Polygamy · Romantic friendship · Same-sex relationship · Significant other · Soulmate · Widowhood · Wife
are these the relationships we have? i don't think so. at least these are the basic relationship between human. relationship sometime help a lot in our society. because of relationship, we feel warm living in this world althought it may is bad relationship. why i say so? because relationship proven that we still have each other in world. investigation also proven that people each other to prove they are alive. thats why we need relationship.

so what the chemical react when non-verbal message combine with the relationship?
it form a lot.
but for me, i think caring is the "warmest" body language form between people.
simple caring movement like touching another people head when he/she is fever, hugging or borrow our own shoulder to someone that is crying because of sadness.
feel like familiar?
maybe because of you did it or someone did that to you before?
would you feel warm when someone that is important to you did these?
is it better than a lot of talk around you?
simple examples had shown that non-verbal message sometime bring the most and the first more than verbal message.
like what i always say, do more, talk less.
let's use our non-verbal message well!! ^^

During the December holidays, I and a group of college friends went on a trip by ourselves to the sunny isle of Penang. Fifteen people, two cars, one destination, and one Garmin GPS gadget. What could possibly go wrong? The moment we hit the state of Penang, the GPS named Mindy by ‘her’ owner, ran out of battery and the driver had accidentally spoiled the car charger one hour ago. Thus there we were - fifteen teenagers in an unfamiliar land, with no food, no water, and a hell lot of cash, forced to abandon the wonders of technology and refer to the map that I brought along.

Oh how they mocked me when I showed them the map two hours ago. Suddenly all eyes were on the map and there was chaos as the three guys gave driving instructions while the girls just sat still and quiet with one of them playing PSP. After about half an hour of scratching heads, pouring rain, traffic jams, and not to mention maneuvering through Penang’s notorious one way streets, we finally managed to find our way to our hotel at the heart of Penang downtown. We thought our troubles were over, but it was far from it.

Just hours after arrival, we decided to walk to a nearby food stall to have a simple snack. After Ken and others had their oysters, we decided to make our way to Gurney Drive for dinner. There was only one slight problem – Mindy was still charging in the hotel room, and someone read the map and told everyone it was walking distance from the hotel.

It was not.

We spent the next hour or so walking along the roads while the day grew darker and darker. As the clock struck eight, we almost threw the map literate into the sea for causing us this dilemma. When it was 8.45pm, we reached the hawker centre and all the hunger bellies and appetites were filled. Now the only question was - How do we get back?

What really happened was that this person came to Penang with his family a few months back. During his visit, he went around in his dad’s car and saw many places. The problem was, we all assumed that since he sounded sooo confident in his directions, he must be from Penang. How wrong we were and we paid the price for our little miscommunication with bruised feet and prolonged hunger. Now this would have been forgiven had he not insisted on knowing the way to a very famous fired kuey teow store in Lorong Selamat and then taking us on an hour’s walk around the stall in circles. (We still didn’t find out he was not from Penang then. That information was revealed after the hunt for the noodle stall.)

Miscommunication can be destructive. In this case, we got lost for an hour under the hot sun. What if the situation changed? What if there is more at risk than simply time and perfect white skin?(Not to mention roaring bellies.) Even when we were looking for the hotel, there was misucommunication. There were too many of us giving instructions at the same time. I am pretty sure the driver was also confused. When we speak, we must make sure that our message gets across with the meaning it is intended for. We need to say what we need to say, say what we mean, and mean what we say. Also, jumping to conclusions is a very bad habit. When there are a lot of assumptions, the miscommunication grows wider and wider.

So be clear, mean it, and ask questions when you are not sure what is going on.

A reminder from your friendly neighbourhood
Samuel Goh.

Before the first human communication class, what I know about human com is communication between human using verbal and non-verbal language. From the class, I know some forms of human communication, example, intrapersonal communication, interpersonal communication, interviewing, small group communication and other else. As we know, people communication with themselves the most in a day, the function of intrapersonal communication is to persuade, rehearse, making decision in certain incident.

In many different kind of communication we have, which communication you like the most? I know we need all the communications, but maybe in some certain situation you may more enjoyable to some kind of communication. For me, I’m more enjoying to include in a small group communication. Small group communication, communication among groups of say 5 to 10 people; it may include your friends, classmates, or family members. Different people may action differently in a small group communication, some may talkative while some may stay quietly and listen to others when they are in a group chat. Lets us see what is the purpose a group communication, it is to solve problems, develop new ideas, and share knowledge and experiences. People say work together can make the work become easier and corporate with each other also other way of maintain the relationship between peoples.

Why I will be more enjoyable in a small group communication? Maybe it is because I’m a basketball player since I’m still 12years old. I had been well trained communicate well with my teammates. I like the time when I’m discussing about basketball with my teammate to improve our skill and strategy. By the way, the time that I love the most is when we are on the basketball court, every one of us facing the same opponent, shouting or whispering to each other so that we can corporate well to defeat our opponent. When we are communicating well in a match, the chances for us to win the match will increase a lot. This is because we already cultivate our own unspoken consensus and we know what our teammate thinking and we will help each other.

Group communication, a form of communication that I enjoy the most, I always believe that communicate in a group can solve problem faster and more effective than solve the problem alone. Once again I mention, another type of communications also playing an important role in our daily life, however in my opinion, we should choose a way of communication that suit us the most so that we can did well in the progress of human communication. In the end of my article, I will conclude it with a popular belief about Human Communication, the more you communicate, and the better your communication will be.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. - James 1:19

When I read Ashley's post this verse just jumped to me. Over the last week we have all been kind of slow in deciding what movie/scene to use for our group assignment. So during the discussion time, almost immediately I thought of two possibilities. The first was a 2007 movie called “Bucket List” starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. It is about two terminally ill men escaping from a cancer ward and heading off on a road trip with a wish list of things to do before they die. It’s a beautiful movie with a lesson of life and a lesson of death. The second movie I thought of was a not so popular 2008 movie called “Fireproof” starring Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea.

Now, Fireproof is not like your regular blockbuster. In fact, it wasn’t even shown in Malaysia. It’s about a fireman who tries to save his marriage from divorce when his father challenged him with a 40 day “love dare”. Each day, his father gave him one simple task to do that was supposed to help him slowly reconcile with his wife. Interestingly, this very bible verse was given to him on the first day. It says to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. For the rest of the day, he was to avoid saying anything negative to his wife at all. Since Ashley has touched on the first part, let me elaborate on the other parts.

Slow to speak – one of the principles of interpersonal communication is that communication is irreversible. What’s done is done. In the movie, the protagonist’s friend tells him that “A woman is like a rose - Treat her right and she’ll bloom. Treat her badly, and she’ll wilt.” Being slow to speak means thinking about what you are saying and evaluating the consequences. Sometimes, especially when you are angry, this can be very hard. In these situations, it is better to say nothing at all than saying something that you will regret later. Sure, you can’t hide the fact that you are angry but you can prevent further damage if you just hold your tongue. I managed to be in such a situation once; I had a friend that was being very very stubborn and utterly refused to lend a hand when I needed the help. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue but I had always stood up for this friend whenever he was in the same need. I had even argued with my father over helping him a few times. Naturally I could demand his help, I could do a lot of things, but I didn’t. Such an action would have destroyed the kind of friendship we had. It would never be the same again.

Slow to get angry – One way to avoid fights and miscommunication is not to get angry in the first place. When you are angry, anger clouds your judgement and your ego and need to be justified takes over. The situation becomes ugly really fast like what happened to me. My friend was already angry and accusing me of using him among other things. He was angry, and I was beginning to get angry. I cannot begin to think what might have happened had I not rationalized my actions. Instead of being angry, I stopped and thought – Maybe there is some truth in what he is saying. Once that happened, I started to listen, and once I listened, I gained an understanding of how my friend felt about the situation.

So in conclusion, the three parts of this verse actually work together. When you hold your temper, you think before you speak, and while you are thinking you actually listen to what’s being said. If the pen is mightier than the sword, then I suppose the tongue is mightier still. A good communicator is someone who knows when to speak, and what to speak.

Till I have another Divine inspiration,
Samuel Goh.

If you can see, this article clearly showes us one very important aspect of human communication: THE KEY TO GOOD COMMUNICATION IS LISTENING. Many people tend to lack this in their daily communications.

I totally agree that listening is very very important where communication is concerned. Many of us feel the need to just talk and talk, without even listening to what the other party has to say.Last year, my mum told me, the only reason she is really close with my granny(her mum) is because my granny always sits and listens when my mum speaks about her problems and vice-versa. Today, my mum has a good relationship with me because she too listens to me when i'm in 'dilemma's :p Be it college, boys, friends, she's always there to listen and console me :) This doesn't only work with family relationships, it can also work with lecturers and students, or even employer's and employee's. I worked in a call centre(CIMB) last year, and I had the best relationship with my supervisor. She not only coached me, but was always there when I had problems at the call centre and needed to speak to someone apart from my mum. So I truly feel, listening is indeed the key to good communication.

When I first enrolled for to Human Communications', I kept wondering to myself what is human communications? How is it going to help me? Then I decided I'll leave all these questions for Mr.Murali to answer! So on january 5th I went for my first class, which as planned, answered my first question. I found out that 'communication' according to him is the process of transferring messages and information among 2 or more people :) It can be in the form of verbal language or non verbal language. Non verbal language simply means one's body language. Prior to that, we also got our 1st assignment, which is to analyze a particular clip from any movie based on the four principles of human communication, and how can we improve it. I personally feel this assignment will be the answer to my 2nd question. Not only will it help me communicate better with the people around me, but it will also allow me to understand this subject better and maybe to be the one of the few to score a HD!

how come a best friend of yours can be a stranger ? isn't it strange ?
yes . why is this happening ?
because lacking of communication between one and another. relationship seems to be faded time to time if did not keep in touch with each other. either sms or calling will do to keep a good and lasting relationship.

the following is my own experiences.

Me and my friend were good friend since from primary school. We used to be with each other everytime when we were in school. Same goes to when we were in secondary school. Even though , we were not in the same class but we still find each other after school and walk together. When time comes , a blink of eye we were in college and coincidently we were in the same college too but she's in further intake. Due to completing assignments and studying for examinations we seldom go for outing.

So i planned with other friends to go out together , maybe for lunch or for a drink. I do not believe that ,over a small matter she's out of sudden kind of angry and she scolded me using words while smsing. She have her own reasons why she can not go out with us because she have to help out her family and i do understand your situation. If you tell me in a more proper way i will forgive and try to understands you. I should have apologize to you too because i used those words that i normally use to talk with my friends in college that i dont even know it will hurt your feelings. After that, she's told me that we were from different background so i dont understand what is she doing now. It's not that matter , is because you are moody u push all the blame to me. Isnt this unfair for me ?? Anyway, everything is over and our friendship is back to normal now because you know that you are wrong too.

The conclusion is due to lacking of communication with each other our friendship will fade off easily because we no longer understand what each other thinking. When we talk we do share thoughts and everything happened around us so that we know what is happening around each other. We can understand each other more there will be no conflict occurs between people. Conflicts normally happen when people misunderstood each other and they assume things happen the way they thought it would be. Do not assuming when you not sure about something and ask when you are curious to know about it. These is how people start communicating.

Now, this is just a friendly and helpful guide for those of our team members who do not have the ability to make a post here yet. Here are a few simple steps that you will need to follow in order to fix that problem.

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6. Find the Almighty Janette again to unload all sorts of other ideas on impoving the blog..

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communication ?

communication is defined as the interactions that involved one or more individuals. Communication divided into two categories which are the intrapersonal and interpersonal communications.
Intrapersonal communication is talking to self so that you learn and improve self more.
Interpersonal communication is interactions between two or more individuals.
Communication occurs when everyone is willing to reveal and learn about others and self. Human do communicate and so the animals do communicate but is in a different way because human communicate is a verbal communication and for animals is a non-verbal communication. Animals do not talk but they interact by actions.

Students do communicate every single day and time especially there is friends around because human needs communication to understand others and sometimes because we do curious about what others think about us. By communication , we will learn and understand others and self more as people tell us. Communication is also a skill that some of us already have it beforehand but is just slightly little natural skills. To have more skills we have to communicate with others. We not only communicate with people face to face but through technology we also do communicate by sending emails , chatting and so on. Technology is to encourage people to communicate and step into further for ones future. Communication not only talk to people but have to listen to what other people trying to tell you. We communicate when people speak to us and we listen and we response to what people telling or asking us.

For example , your group of friends is telling you there is a few hot guys in the college and just attended the same class as you. Your response is by asking them what classes you attended just now and what is his name and where is he now ? . We do listened and we response and this is how communication occurs between human being. Communication occurs naturally. When people is asking us questions and we do response by answering their questions too . This is very natural unless for those who are shy , no self-confident and so on might need more time to adapt to some situations.


Janette Kwan