few days ago i planned to go for haircut with my sister and she's working by the time i finishes my class.i had had to stay in the college to wait for my sister so that we can meet some where and drive only one car instead of two .after that we keep in touch with each other on the phone where are we suppposed to meet at and unfortunately my phone is almost out of battery. when she called me and she's telling me where i have to park my car and she pick me up my phone started to signal me that it's low battery .

so when we confirmed the parking location and i tell her that my hp is gonna out of battery soon and so she hang up.when i reached the location , my phone is totally out ! and i was about to call my sister .asking her where is she now but since my hp is out of battery , i have to wait for her.for like about 20 mins she's not even reaching yet..i decided to get down from the car and look around whether there is any public phone so that i can make phone calls to my sister.. And guess what she says??

she reached the salon already. she's telling me that she gonna pay first and some other day she will come when she's free and the hairstylist is free either. and i have to wait for my sister to meet me up. i slept in the car and i woke up when she honked me. we went to night market . while she was driving she tells me that why didnt i drove to there .then i was like i tot you meeting me up ?? she say cancelled already what then..
i was speechless at that moment. my sister say okay it was all misinterpretation because of my phone anyway.. thought it was the way we thought but other people think that we understand what are they talking about.

i experienced the selective listening situation few days ago which when i was in my friend's house. basically, me and my friends were sharing some news with each other.While we were watching movie some of them were talking behind and eventually all of us will turn to the back and listen. However , there is this girl she was all the while watching the movie and laughing (because the movie is hilarious) and she didnt know what we talking about. When we mentioned her name Miss J then she was like hah??

then there goes Miss K says "J you seriously is a selective listening person, just now you were not listening to us and now u started to answer us when you heard your name".

then Miss J replied " Of course. I dont know what you guys talking about so when i heard my name i thought you guys talking about me"

i believe that selective listening is you listen what is related to you and what is about you . For example , when you heard people talking and mentioned your name , you will eventually turn to that person and says "yes".. other than that he/she doesnt wanna care about if is not related to them.

we will experienced what we've learned in human communication in our daily life which can improve our communication skills.

You know there is this certain assignment due after the midterms and you haven't really put much effort or rather not even started it at all due to the fact that most of your time was spent on studying while putting aside this said assignment on the pretext that "there is always more time later". Well, sometimes when you get unlucky, things just pile up so bad the forecast of the week seems to be thunderstorms as you struggle to finish not one, not two, but three assignments given weeks in advance. It's times like this where having good team members count.

Based on my experience last semester, i find that this problem is just another phase us procrastinating students go through. Especially in group assignments, we tend to lose track and ultimately its the person who desperately wants the points who pulls the extra weight for the assignment. My psychology research paper is an example. Me and my friend Raymond did most of the work while we sent some books to the other members to read so that they wont be blur on presentation. He typed 3/4 of the paper while another member is supposed to type the rest and another was supposed to edit the format and check for grammar mistakes. In the end i discovered to my shock and horror the editing was terrible and the 1/4 of writing was missing. I spent the whole night correcting the mistakes, retyping the reference list cracking my head for the last 1/4 of material, and preparing the slides for the presentation the next day(my original task).

Thanks to the research Raymond put in and my stubbornness for perfect formatting and power point slides, we got the highest marks for the whole assignment even though i felt like a walking corpse that morning.

After reading Chapter 9 of the text book on members and leaders in group communication, i realized we did not approach the assignment properly. We should have been more group oriented. We had a group of four, if not for the fact that Raymond took ADP for psych before this we could have failed the assignment because we didn't utilize all the resources we had or rather we underused them. Individuality with a group orientation is effective but without it, we are just like having many captains on a ship. As the saying goes, too many cooks spoil the soup.

So to avoid this, team members for human comm, meeting after class on monday.. we have things to setttle..

i saw my friend facebook status before,
"you always say i just don't listen, yes! i can very confirm to tell you that boy are never listen, however you also never shut your mouth."
many friend comment on his post show they are agree with it. ya, i'm one of them. xD
not only us, i guess everyone also will agree with that, boy don't listen and girl like to talk. so what is the chemical reaction when two gender meet each other? nothing than that, just like an asteroid smash on earth. haha!

in this blog post, i will focus more on why boys never listen to other. why i focus on it? because, i'm male and i can say that i know what a boy thinking when a girl talk a lot beside his ears, i tried before. =.=

first, lets us start with the relationship between parents and son. teenagers normally would'nt listen much of their parents because a teenager want their own life. they don't want other people to disturb their life and decision. teenagers will reject their parents, however there are some difference between a son and a daughter. daughther may try to change their parents mind by giving a lot of idea and opinions. sons different, why? because they don't like to have conflict with parents, but on the same time, they would not agree with what parents saying. so, what they trying to do is just don't listen and avoid the problem and question given.

second, common things, couple. when conflict happen, boys less argue with the girls to win the conflict, they just keep quiet and let the girls keep talking. however on the same time they also not agree with what the girls talking, but they try to avoid from conflict so they keep quiet and not listening. because of this, a new conflict will come out again, and conflict would'nt stop and keep going. conflict only will stop when boys clam their girlfriends and did a lot to let her be happy, but never say anything to what their girlfriends complained. they not show that they are agree with the claim or dislike the claim. boys just avoid from conflict.

third, relationship between workers. when they facing a problem during work, girls and boys act differentlty. girls may take this problem to the surface to have different ideas with everyone. boys may keep quiet to find a solution to solve the problem. when this situation happening, boys will be very stress and hate everything that is disturbing him, in this time, if girls come and talk about the problem with him, boys would'nt listen because they are already in a stress condition, they just hope to be quiet and get a solution themselves. because of they are not listening to the partner, they will be claim as irresponsible and a lot of bad comment come into him.

from three common relationship above, did you all found the same thing about boy? boy always avoid from conflict, so they keep quiet and not listening. but actually in their mind they are thinking solution for the problems and how to solve the conflict. i, as a boy, also hope that every girl can understand that our way of think is different, we keep quiet does'nt mean that we not care about anything, but we just don't like to show it on our face.

Today is the last day of February. It is the last day of rest before normal classes in college starts again. It is also the last day of the Chinese new year festival which also means its "valentines day" for the Chinese. But most importantly, today is the last day to do my blog posting so here i go again.

Seeing as this is the last day of Chinese new year,let me just share with you guys some drama that happened a week ago during a dinner at my grandma's house.

On the sixth day of the new year (today is the fifteenth), My whole extended family met at my grandma's house to celebrate her birthday. To lessen the burden of my grandparents, it was decided between my mother and her siblings that the adults will cook instead of the grandparents. Ideas popped up here and there and in the end it was decided that we should have steamboat for dinner! there was only one problem - Steamboat is nothing without seafood, and my grandparents (plus my youngest uncle)are vegetarians. A quick solution of having two separate steamboats was suggested and everyone was happy. Or so it seemed.

At about dinner time, although not all the guests have arrived yet, the some of the children were starting to feel hungry. So some of the adults decided to start the normal steamboat to let the children eat. When this happened, all those present who were omnivores went out to the porch to eat. This made youngest uncle very unhappy.

To cut the long story short, at the end of that day, I helped to clean up, my cousins helped to clean up, my other relatives helped to clean up, but youngest uncle sulked at a corner eating cake with "annoyed" written all over his face. Sometime after i left, according to my aunts, he stood up, half eaten cake in hand and scolded his remaining sibling about how wrong and disrespectful they were for leaving the elderly (ironically he is included) to eat alone at the dinning table and to contaminate the utensils and cutlery with meat. When he went home, he composed a very fiery email to everyone telling how wrong everything was and firing accusations everywhere.

Now, while this conflict has brought into light that we might have overlooked certain important elements regarding how to treat the elderly since this conflict was sparked based on a clashing of cultures ie beliefs and religion,the way the emails were presented was very accusing. he had placed all the responsibility of what he saw was wrong on us. till this day, many have been proved unreasonable and at first he refused to apologize saying that he was disappointed that we wont change our perception so he wont change his either. He attributed stubbornness and ignorance as a reason for the 'mistakes' he saw.

We have learned that competing style of conflict causes resentment. i can say it is very true especially when used with verbal aggressiveness. Blaming is never a good choice. i can understand where he is coming from but its very very one sided. from his outburst, it can also be said that he has been gunnysacking many 'mistakes' over the past few year. The adults have called a family meeting to address the issues he has pointed out but he has refused to attend claiming that there is no need to discuss anything and just do what he said. I really hope this issue is resolved as i cant have much say in this. this is between the adults. how embarrassing..

what's about self-disclosure ?

self-disclosure is the process of revealing something about ourselves to another person. Usually refers to infomation that would normally be kept hidden. We eventually will reveal our personal information to others when it happens to self-disclosure.

The rewards and dangers of self-disclosure are :

-self-knowledge
a new perspective and deeper understanding of our own behaviour. Telling people about behaviour is the minor conversation but not deeper than that.

-improved coping abilities
you deal with problems especially comes to guilt.

-communication enhancement
you understand the messages until the extent that you understand the individuals.

-more meaningful relationships
relationship that is honest and open and allows for more complete communication.

-personal risks
expose to possible attack . some people with some intentions use against you.

-relationship risks
parents and best freinds which means your closest intimates may reject you for similar self-disclosures.

-professional risks
politicians who disclose that they have been in therapy may lose the support and teacher who disclose disagreement with school administrators may find themselves being denied tenure.

*Joseph A.Devito*

humans do disclose themselves because humans have a lot to express by telling others. Is very suffering to just kept it to only our own. having listener listen what we wanted to tell and say it will eventually ease our problems for awhile better than nothing .

self-fulfilling prophecy happens in our daily life because i realised that what i do it's related to it.
examples of self-fulfilling prophecy are :

Example One :

students are telling themselves that they can't even pass their papers because they dont have enough time to study for example for the midterm examination . they are just using self-fulfilling prophecy in a negative term .
they should say it in a more confident method which is the positive one . they should say they can pass the papers no matter how .

Example Two :

some girls thinks that they are very pretty and attractive and yes they using self-fulfilling prophecy in a positive way from their point of view. if they were not using it they will most probably thinks that they are very ugly and very dumb .

self-fulfilling prophecy is good when it is a good or positive way but not all people using it because they dont want to think positively in some conditions or circumstances .

JANETTE